Tireito

See, I grew up using a metal basin to bathe. You’d need to scoop water with your palms cupped and pour over your whole body repeatedly scrubbing your back cause mama would always run her finger down it to determine if you washed yourself real good or were going for a second round.

I would always dip my index finger in the water first, then decide if I’d shower or not.

I did this every other time although I knew the water was always cold.

Even though I knew whatever decision my index finger and I made, I’d still shower because… Well, because mama was mama and in her house, kids shower whether water was warm or cold.

I’d do this even though I knew no way my mum would let me into her house without showering.

Now I’m all grown and I don’t have to use basins or cold water but I still test ‘waters’ .

I just don’t make decisions (well, atleast the good ones) . I decide if it’s worth it or not.

You see, sometimes I even ask things hypothetically just to see responses and therefore know how to proceed.

I’m not a people’s person but I have once tried being a chatterbox in a group just to see how I’ll feel. How they’ll react. If they’d love me extroverted.

I still do many things all in the name of testing the waters.

Only difference is mama is not here to make the final decision for me.

© Blackgirlpoetry🌼